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Wednesday, 29 March 2017 18:05

The Art of Aldous

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Fool? Nutter? Brucker? Thus I have been christened. It will have to do; it might as well have been any other way. However, a small request: would you mind if we just shortened it to FNB? I find it so much more becoming but I guess you will let me know if that chafes you in any way, you have been so vocal about everything else that has.

     Captain I am in your service, in no way did I mean to offend. If I came across as authoritarian, it was only because you needed galvanising, but allow me to make it up to you in my own little way, because as you know, I am somewhat of a go-between, or shall we say, a medium.

     Perhaps it would help if you thought of me as your butler: one who knows your house even better than you the master. I am in no way presuming on our relationship, the analogy merely puts me in a position to state that I have noted that you have made certain changes, ones of which I approve and ones with which I can assist.

     I have noticed that you have stopped wearing your spectacles: a brave and gallant decision. For they are nothing more than crutches for the eyes, only leading to further dependency. I can help you rehabilitate these precious organs by reminding you of the good habits that you have forgotten. 

     Medicus curat, natura sanat. You have the power to heal yourself. The first step on the path to recovery is to not care about it at all. This is to say, place no pressure on yourself, be indifferent to the outcome. This will put you in a state of dynamic relaxation: the natural state for good vision.

     Once you have accomplished that, do not try hard to see for vision is something that comes to you. Do not strain your eyes by staring or by trying to see things in their entirety. Follow the outlines of shapes and objects, taking in the details in between with an air of gratitude.

     Break objects down into their constituent parts, taking note to blink often and to keep the eyes moving. For this will combat the ingrained habit of staring and will force the eyes to behave as if they were perfectly healthy. “Fake it till you make it” as the pick-up artists say and you will soon find that you have.

     You did not see badly when you were child so you know you have it in you to see well again. Years of bad habits have worn down the relationship between the sensing eye and the perceiving mind. We will work on that though, so rest assured and take my word as a token of my devotion.

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Lumumba Mthembu

I am a 26-year-old Rhodes graduate who has written a 60 000-word unpublished novel entitled "Diary of a Bad Life". I am currently working on a second novel entitled "Conditional Love".

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